Secret
by SassyAngel05
Summary: Jake's POV after Life in a Glass House. Jake thinks about his little girl and Haley shows up after Coach Durham requested her to help Jake. THE END! Thanks for R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Secret

Author: Vona

Rating: PG

Pairing: Not really a pairing kind of story, but it's about Jake and Haley.

Summary: Set after Life as a Glass House.  Jake's POV.  Jake thinks about his baby girl and Haley shows up after being requested to help Jake by Coach Durham.

****

**_Secret_**

I'll never forget the day she told me.  I hadn't seen her for a month, not since we'd broken up.  She was from Woodbury, the town over from ours.  I don't think anyone from Tree Hill even knew about her.  I don't exactly have a lot of close friends here; just people I know from the basketball team or from my classes.  Her name was Charisma.  She was absolutely stunning.  I really did fall madly, deeply in love with her.  We broke up because we were millions of miles apart, so different from each other.  It wasn't one of those dramatic break ups, just an end of a relationship.  It was easier to get over her because I never saw her.  But that day, she drove down to Tree Hill in her BMW.  I was completely shocked to find her on my front porch and even more surprised to see the seriousness on her face.  She'd always been so lighthearted.  She didn't try to fluff the news she had to give me.  She didn't even set me up for it.  She probably had no idea how to deal with it.  She blurted out to me, "I'm pregnant."

That was it.  Just two words that changed my entire life.  I stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality, was probably a few seconds.  In reality.  That's ironic.  The entire situation seemed surreal to me.  I told my parents next.  They gave me the we're-extremely-disappointed-in-your-actions speech.  I was lucky they didn't kick me out of the house.

            I don't think Charisma's parents took the news as well as mine did.  They were probably outraged at their little girl.  She came to me in tears and told me she was going to give the baby up for adoption.  She wanted to be able to go back to her normal, 'important' life.  I couldn't let her give the baby up for adoption.  This baby had two parents that were capable of caring for it.  So I told Charisma I would take the baby after it was born.  She agreed.

            She was born on September 23 at 4:31 in the morning.  She was perfect in everyway, even if she was a complete secret in my life.  We named her Breeze Alecksandra McKay.  I'd debated telling Lucas about her because I figured if anyone, he would understand.  I never did, though.  I didn't know if it would bring back these horrible memories for him or ruin our tentative friendship by this huge burden I'd be placing on him.  I did tell Coach Durham.  I wasn't going to be able to make all the practices and games now.  I had something more important in my life now, someone more important.  Breeze was the perfect baby.  She didn't cry often, mostly slept.  I couldn't understand how Charisma could let this precious person out of her sight.  I will always let Charisma visit Breeze, even be in her life if Charisma so chose.  She never even called to see if Breeze made it home okay.  Maybe Charisma wasn't as wonderful as I thought she was.  As innocently perfect Breeze was, my grades still dropped.  I focused on my daughter, not my schoolwork.  I would have quit basketball if I didn't need the scholarship for college.  I wanted to be able to go on to a college so I could get a job that would provide for Breeze.  Lucky for me, Whitey was flexible.  I think he was almost proud that I was taking responsibility for my actions.  How could I not?  I saw my baby girl and her tiny fingers wrapped around my heart and still haven't let go.

            I lay in bed this morning, shortly after my alarm blared from my nightstand.  Breeze typically slept through it, so I didn't have to get up yet.  I could hear her soft breathing and her baby cough.  I couldn't help but think about how much my life had changed.  I used to be a usual teenage boy with the usual stresses of adolescence.  One mistake-no, not a mistake- one decision changed everything.  Instead of thinking about girls in general, I thought about one girl.  She was one month old and the most important thing in my entire life.  The doorbell rang, jarring me from my thoughts and Breeze from her slumber.  I lifted her from her bassinet and cradled her in my arms.  My parents were already at work, so I was the only one home.  That meant I had to answer the door.  I couldn't leave Breeze behind, so I wrapped her in a yellow woolen blanket and walked down the stairs.  I opened the door and found Hayley James standing there.  She jumped when she heard Breeze's wail and a flicker of understanding crossed her face.

"Hey, Jake.  I'm Hayley James, Lucas' friend.  Some of your teachers were worried about your grades, so they asked me to tutor you.  I thought I'd stop by and see when a good time would be."

She hesitated, unsure of what to do next.

"Come on in, Hayley."

I didn't know what to say to her.  I don't have any time to study.  Hayley stepped inside, shutting the door behind her, blocking out the cold winter.  "What's her name?"

She asked it softly and by the look on her face, I could tell she thought she was prying.

"Breeze.  She's a little over a month old."

Hayley lifted her arms out for Breeze and I reluctantly gave her up.  Amazingly, Breeze cuddled right into Hayley.

"I've been taking her to my aunt's house during school.  I pick her up right after school and take care of her from there.  I don't have time to be tutored, but thanks for the offer."

"Jake, I can help you.  I can work my schedule around yours and you've got a free baby-sitter on game nights and stuff."

A bitter feeling washed over me.  Why couldn't Charisma feel that way about Breeze?  Maybe it was because Hayley can always give Breeze back to me when she was tired of her.  I hated that I was being so harsh when Hayley was being so generous.  I looked up and saw that Hayley was rocking Breeze and she seemed to enjoy it very much.

"All right.  If you really want to help me, who am I to stop you?"

Hayley grinned brightly and I realized how perfectly she smiled.  No wonder Lucas was best friends with her.

"I could get her ready while you get dressed for school."

I knew that Breeze seemed comfortable with her, so I agreed.  "Thanks."  I led her up to my room and handed her a pink jumper out of the drawer.  It looked remotely out of place in my room, only the lacey bassinet and changing table making the room look more feminine.  I left them to take a quick shower.  

When I returned, Hayley had Breeze dressed and giggling girlishly.  

"I won't tell, Jake, if you're worried."  She said it before I entered the room.  It was kind of abrupt and I wondered if she thought I'd been concerned.

"I know."

"People are going to figure out you have a child.  I know Tree Hill is slow sometimes, but come on, it's going to become kind of obvious when she's running around town."

I smiled a little.  "I'll tell people eventually.  I just…I've seen what this town has done to Lucas.  I've seen the way he's been treated and the way Ms. Roe has been treated.  I don't want that to happen to me and Breeze.  Lucas and Ms. Roe didn't deserve it and Breeze and I don't deserve it."

I paused, not even knowing why I was spilling my feelings to a complete stranger.  It felt good talking to someone, a sort of catharsis.  She didn't judge me and she wasn't angry with me, like my parents are.  To some degree, I trusted Hayley.  She won't go around town, telling everyone about this conversation.

"Well, there are a few things you left out, Jake.  Lucas and Karen have each other.  I've never seen a mother and a son as close as they are.  Karen has Keith and don't forget that Lucas has this wonderfully charming best friend, so I don't think their life turned out so badly.  I don't think they do, either.  Roll with it, Jake.  You have a beautiful little child who is going to grow up to adore her Daddy.  She has grandparents who will love her, I'm sure.  And don't forget that Breeze will have her Auntie Hayley to help her out and beat up all the people who are cruel to you."

I sent a silent thanks to the teachers that sent Hayley James my way.  Speaking of, I wondered who did.

"Which teachers sent you?"

"Did I say teachers?" She beamed charmingly.  "I meant Coach Durham sent me."

I had a feeling Coach sent Hayley to me more for my emotional stability than my academic stability.  I took Breeze from her and kissed the baby powdery scented forehead.

"I know you're right.  I'll tell Lucas first, then some of the others will find out about her.  I'm not ashamed of Breeze.  I want you to understand that."

"I do know.  I'll let you go on to your aunt's house.  I've distracted you enough.  I'll see you at school."

She stood, putting on her coat and messenger bag.

"You want a ride?"

She shrugged.  "Only if you promise to get me there on time.  I've never had detention and I don't intend to let a tardy mar my perfect record."

I couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling over.  I hadn't laughed at anything but Breeze for several months.  Maybe Hayley would be good for me.  And Breeze.

"It's a deal."


	2. Hidden

**_Secrets_**

**_Chapter Two_**

**_Hidden_**

A.N.  First, thank you for the correction on the spelling of Haley's name.  I hadn't realized that I was spelling it wrong and I appreciate the correction:P  Also, thank you so much for the reviews.  I just want everyone to know how much they mean to me!

JAKE'S POV

I passed the basketball to Nathan and he dribbled it down the court.  Coach Durham blew his whistle, yelling at Nathan for doing something illegal.  The door to the gym opened with a creak and everyone turned to see who it was.  Haley flushed at the extra attention as she passed through the door and smiled when I waved at her.  She returned the motion and then I realized that Lucas and Nathan had waved as well.  Haley sat down on one of the uncomfortable bleachers and opened up a History book.  She seemed to be preparing for our session.  She'd agreed to meet me at 5:30 at my house, so I was surprised to see her here.  Coach glanced up at the clock on the gym wall.  4:30.  "Jake, Tristin is going to take your place." I nodded and sat down next to Haley, changing my shoes.  I ignored the looks I received from the rest of my team.  I was almost ready to strike up a conversation with Haley as I untied my shoelaces, but that might make some of the others suspicious.  I hadn't gotten around to telling anyone I was being tutored.  Haley seemed to understand what I was thinking because she didn't say anything either.  I nodded to Coach Durham, who seemed to almost be studying the two of us.  Why, I wasn't sure.  I finally stood up to leave.  Haley made no movement to follow my actions.  I paused, unsure of what I was supposed to do and finally settled on just leaving.  Breeze was waiting for me.  I walked towards the door, but couldn't resist looking back.  Haley was watching me leave, a thoughtful expression on her face.  What I would pay to crawl inside Haley James' mind.  She was so smart and caring.  What did she think of me?  Did she think I was a pathetic irresponsible loser or did she like me?  Did she even think about me at all?  I shook my head as I made my way into the sunshine.  I'd known Haley for a day and I was already worried about our tentative, secret friendship.  I unlocked my car door, slid in and started my engine.  I shouldn't even be thinking about Haley.  I had someone else who needed me to focus on her.

HALEY'S POV

            I watched Jake walk out of the gym, this hesitant and shy look on his face.  He seemed worried.  I hoped everything was okay with Breeze.  I knew I shouldn't follow him.  I had the feeling Jake hadn't told anyone about Breeze or me.  Not that he needed to tell people about me.  There wasn't anything to tell.  My thoughts had been confirmed, though, when he didn't say anything when he took a seat next to me.  Jake seemed to be excellent at keeping secrets.  Even better than Nathan Scott.  Why was I always drawn to the enigmatic boys?  Lucas was watching me, as if he wanted to know why I was there.  I'm not really sure why I came into the gym.  I wasn't supposed to meet Jake until 5:30 and I'd stayed here to finish up my homework.  I found myself here.  I snapped out of my reverie when I felt people picking up their bags around me.  Practice was over.

"Haley, what's up?"

I shrugged and slid my History book back into my messenger bag.  Lucas sat down next to me, all sweaty and adorable.

"I was bored."  
"So you came to watch me practice?"

He sounded completely skeptical and I remembered that I could never lie to him.  He always caught me in them.  I blame years of friendship.

"I was still at school and I kind of ended up here."

"Are you all right, Hales?  You've been kind of distant lately.  I told you I was okay with you tutoring Nathan. I'm just worried about you."

That was Lucas, expert and professional brooder.  It amazed me.  He was such a paradox; frighteningly perceptive and amusingly oblivious all at once.

"Oh, Luke, this isn't about Nathan.  I'm fine."

Yes.  That was true.  None of my issues were about Nathan this time.  Jake hadn't told anyone about Breeze.  I knew in confidence and I won't betray Jake.  Instead, I betray Lucas.  I feel horrible lying to him.  Lucas's mouth quirked up, his hands up in front of his chest.

"Fine.  You know I'm here when you want to tell me what's really going on."

"What makes you think I'll ever want to talk?"

"How could you resist me?  You always come around."

I threw my arms around Lucas, despite his sweatiness; just thankful I had a best friend like him.

"I've got to go, Lucas. I'll see you at the café later."

"Okay.  Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes."

I said it decisively and lifted my eyes to meet his.  I thought it might reassure him, thought I don't think it worked.  I didn't give him any more time to protest my well-being, by leaving the gym as quickly as I could.  I'd already missed my ride, so I'd have to walk to Jake's house.

JAKES POV

            I flipped on the television, needing the background noise.  The house was kind of eerie when no one else was home.  Breeze was warm and sleeping in her bassinet, so I couldn't disturb the quiet baby.  Haley should be here any minute and for some reason, I was nervous.  I wasn't sure why.  I opened my backpack and pulled out my spiral and math book, searching for the appropriate page.  I sat back since I had nothing left to do but wait.  Maybe I could practice my speeches.

"Lucas, you know how everyone's been wondering why I've been so busy lately.  It's because I have a month and a half old baby.  I've been a little bit busy playing Daddy."

Yeah.  That one sounded a bit sarcastic and sadly enough, it was the best I'd come up with so far.  I had the urge to throw everything across the room and jump all over it.  Maybe rip up a few pages in my Math book.  That would make me unbelievably happy.  Maybe that was the real reason I needed tutoring.  Luckily, Haley walked in the door before I had a chance to carry out my plans.

"The door was unlocked and I didn't know if the doorbell would wake Breeze, so I decided I would just barge in uninvited.  Sorry."

I grinned at her ramble.

"Haley, it's fine.  How'd you know Breeze would be asleep?"

"She's over a month old.  All babies do is sleep."

I gestured to the couch so she'd sit down.  I wanted her to feel comfortable in my house.  Hayley sort of flopped down and she propped her feet up on the table with a heavy sigh.

"Are you all right?"

"I wish people would stop asking me that."

I shifted so I was facing her.  
"That didn't answer my question, Ms. James."

"I lied to Lucas today."

"You did."

"Yes.  Not that I haven't before but I do hate lying to him."

I let the unspoken sink in before I voiced it.

"It was because of me, I assume."

A slight shiver of guilt spread through my veins.

"Well, yeah.  I'm not blaming you or anything.  It's really not a big deal. I just always get crabby when I keep things from Lucas."

"I understand, Haley.  I'll tell him soon.  I promise."

She looked at me, then, an odd look.  She brushed a piece of hair off my forehead before trying to perk up.

"Somehow, I've managed to make your baby about me.  That takes a special kind of talent, you know."

I chuckled as I took the cover off my calculator. I loved Haley's sense of humor.

"It's rough on you since you weren't expecting to find me with a baby.  You just thought that I would be a regular kid that needed tutoring."

"Why I thought that is beyond me.  I never get the normal cases."

"Are you implying that I'm weird?"

"Well, yeah."  

I tossed a couch pillow at her.  I caught her eyes and they reminded me of the diamonds on my mom's wedding ring.  She started to giggle, and I was joining in before I realized it.  I don't know.  It wasn't that funny.  Maybe we're both tired.

"So, what's the assignment?"

"Page 163.  1-73 odd."

She leaned over towards me to share my book.  She smelled like roses and vanilla, which I found kind of intoxicating.  Haley tutoring me might not be so helpful, since I couldn't concentrate on anything but her.  I shook my head, trying to focus on what she was explaining.

HALEY'S POV

            Jake's parents came home a little after six.  I'd never met them.  I've always managed to miss them.  The atmosphere immediately tensed when they arrived.  Jake and I had been sort of lost in our own world, so we didn't even notice their appearance.  We'd finished Algebra 2 and moved on to English.  I was explaining the merits of The Scarlet Letter when we heard the keys being dropped on the table with a clatter.

"Jake."

"Hey, Mom."

He scooted farther away from me, which didn't make a whole lot of sense.  His parents had to know I was tutoring him.  I stood up and offered my hand, just like my mom had taught me to.  

"Hi.  I'm Haley James, Jake's tutor."

Jake's Mom shook my hand and attempted a weak smile.  His dad didn't.  I heard him mutter, "At least she seems brighter than the last one."

The last tutor?  I didn't know Jake had a tutor before.  I turned to look at Jake and his face clouded over, but he didn't say anything.  I didn't address the comment.  
"We're almost finished here and I'll be out of your way.  
"You're not in the way, Haley."  Jake chimed in from the couch.  He seemed to be glaring at his dad.

"It's really nice to meet you both."

Breeze must have been feeling ignored because she let out a loud wail.  I lifted her in my arms before returning to my seat on the couch.  I cradled her in one arm and continued the rest of my explanation.


	3. Confession

**_Secret_**

**_Chapter Three_**

**_Confession_**

            I was seething, completely boiling in my rage.  My father!  I hate Dad sometimes.  I know how mad he is at me for getting Charisma pregnant.  That's understandable.  He can take that out on me. I deserve it.  Haley doesn't.  Haley has done nothing but be kind to Breeze and me.  I know Haley didn't say anything to Dad about his comment, but she had to have heard it.  She's not deaf.  I wanted to say something to him, but I didn't want to offend Haley any farther.  I fell onto my bed, exhausted.  Breeze was spending some quality time with her Grandma, so I was free to relax for a few minutes.  I was trying to come up with a way to make everything up to Haley, at least somewhat.  It dawned on me, then.  I could tell Lucas about Breeze.  That way Haley wouldn't have to keep secrets from him anymore.  And as a bonus, I wouldn't have to, either.  So I grabbed the phone and asked Lucas to come over.  He said he'd be over in ten minutes, so all I had to do now was pace nervously.

            Lucas showed up a little later than he'd estimated.  Breeze screamed when she heard the bell ring, so I picked her up before answering the door.  The surprise was evident on Lucas' face.

"I didn't know you had a little sister."

This was it.  Someone outside my family, teachers, and Haley was going to find out.  After this, it was likely the rest of Tree Hill would uncover the secret.  It wasn't that Lucas would spread it around, it was just that the more people from the outside that knew, the easier it would be to get around.  And Lucas might let it slip to Brook since they were getting closer and Brooke would definitely blab it everywhere.

"I don't have a little sister."

His face passed from surprise to confusion.

"I have a daughter, Lucas."

Lucas froze.  The look on his face made me wish I had a camera.  He was shocked.  Stunned.  There was no other way to describe it.

"Your daughter."

"Yes.  This is Breeze."

"You have a daughter."

"Yeah."

"Who's the mother?"

"My ex-girlfriend, Charisma."

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend, man."

He didn't know I had a girlfriend.  He didn't know I had a daughter.

"Charisma and I broke up before you joined the team."

That also led to the implication of before we were friends.

"How old is she?"

"16."

"Not Charisma.  Breeze."

Lucas was laughing at me now.  Well, we were just talking about Charisma, I thought in my defense.

"She's a month and a half."

"You've been keeping her a secret for that long?"

"Well, my family knew.  And Haley."

"Haley? James?"

"Yes.  She's been tutoring me.  She came over and found me with a baby girl."

"That's why she's been acting so weird lately."

"Yeah.  I made her promise not to tell anyone, so don't blame her for not spilling it to you."

"I understand that.  Haley always keeps her promises."

"I should have told you sooner than I did. I just didn't know how to tell anyone without things changing."

"You have a baby.  Things are going to change just because of that fact.  But you're a much better father than Dan was with me."

"Yes, well, Charisma is Dan's substitute in Breeze's case."

Lucas nodded sympathetically.

"So, can I come in?  It's getting kind of cold out here."

I realized that I hadn't invited him in.  We'd had one of the most important conversations of our friendship on my front porch.  I stepped aside so Lucas could actually come in.

"Sorry, man, I wasn't thinking."

"We were distracted."

Both of us stopped talking, a little uncomfortable.  We entered my room.

"Speaking of distractions, what is going on between you and Brooke?"

Lucas grinned. "Brooke is not a distraction.  She's different, you know."

"Yeah.  She's definitely different."

I started to rock back and forth for Breeze's benefit and I was rewarded by a toothless grin.  Lucas laid himself hap-hazardly across my bed.  I placed Breeze in her bassinet before sitting down on the desk chair. 

"But no more of Brooke.  How long has Haley been tutoring you?"

"Only a couple of days.  Whitey sent her to me."

"Coach knows?"

"Yeah.  I told him after Breeze was born."

"That's why you left practices so early all the time."

"Yep."

"What do you think of Haley?"

Lucas was getting a little too curious for my taste.  Am I supposed to tell him the truth?  Should I gush on about her for fifteen minutes like I want to and admit that I'm already starting to really like her?  Tell him that I can see why Nathan and Lucas both like her so much?

"Haley is…great."

Lucas lifted his eyebrows knowingly.  He was smirking.  I didn't hide my feelings very well.  I knew I was flushing, stupid blood rush that I can't control.

"Haley is amazing." 

That was a simple statement on Lucas' part, but I knew that he knew what I had been thinking.  I sighed, cursing myself for being so transparent and Lucas for knowing me a little too well.

"Haley has a soft spot for kids." Lucas added, trying to press me on the topic.

"She is wonderful with Breeze.  She warmed right up to Haley."

"Everyone warms up to Haley."  
"True."

We didn't say anything else on that.

"Luke?"  
"Mhm?"

"You won't tell anyone about Breeze, will you?"

"People are going to find out."

"That didn't answer my question.  I know that people will find out, but I'd rather it happen naturally."

"I won't tell, Jake."

"Not even Brooke."

"Like I'd tell Brooke a secret.  I said she was different, not a good confidant."

We laughed together and I was glad that I finally had a best friend.

"Thanks, Lucas."

"It's no big deal.  Now I've got to get home.  My mom needs me to clean out the gutters before it rains."

"Sounds like fun."

"Oh, it is.  I'll see you tomorrow.  Thanks for finally telling me about Breeze.  She's really cute."

"Thanks.  I like to think she is.  See you later."

Lucas left and I felt relieved.  More people knew and soon my baby won't be a secret anymore.


	4. Buzz

**_Secret_**

**_Chapter Four_**

**_Buzz_**

I waited for Haley outside of her house the next morning.  I left early to take Breeze to my aunt's house, so I could pick Haley up.  I was dying to tell her I'd finally confessed to Lucas.  She would be ecstatic.  I could hardly even imagine her face.  I hadn't gone to the door yet, I was almost afraid to ring the doorbell.  I had this paralyzing fear of meeting her parents settling deep inside of me.  Haley would eventually come outside, then I would call her over.  I could even act like I'd just gotten here.  I don't know why I'm so terrified of meeting Haley's parents.  I have no reason to be afraid of them.  I glanced at the clock on my dashboard.  7:47.  I hoped Haley hadn't gone in to school early to tutor someone.  It was possible.  I was about ready to leave when Haley exited her house, but behind her stood Nathan.  I was going to end up disturbing their time together.  I couldn't make an unnoticeable getaway since I was parked on the driveway.  Not one of my brightest moments.  Haley seemed to just realize that someone was watching her.  She turned and saw me sitting there like a pathetic stalker who'd just been caught.  She waved and made her way towards the car.  Nathan seemed surprised that I was there.  Of course.  He still didn't know that Haley was tutoring me.  I rolled the window down as Haley reached the door.

"Hey, Jake.  What's up?"

She seemed truly puzzled that I would show up randomly at her house.  Lucas must not have talked to her yesterday after our chat.

"I just wanted to tell you the good news."

She tilted her head acutely, a small, curious smile forming on her face.  I should wait to tell her since Nathan was there, but I couldn't resist.

"I told Lucas."

Delight spread across her features, making her face seem angelic.  She reached in through the window to give me a huge hug.  We'd become fast friends, even though we've really only had close contact for four days.  

"That's wonderful!  I'm so glad you finally 'fessed up."

"Lucas knows what?"  Nathan asked from the background.  Unfortunately, he wasn't out of earshot.  I paused and glanced up at Haley.  She appeared so hopeful, I couldn't let her down.

"That I've got a month and a half old baby girl."

Nathan was floored.  I could tell.  Nathan Scott was rarely shocked and I was almost proud that I'd been the one to render him speechless. It was quite an accomplishment.

"Oh."  That was all he said.  Oh.  I didn't bother telling him not to tell anyone.  Nathan would easily spread the news across Tree Hill High.  I wouldn't even have to tell anyone else.  Maybe that was like cheating.  I wasn't owning up to my responsibility, but I didn't really care.  I started the engine to my car, not offering Haley a ride.  She had Nathan to cover that.

"I'll see you after practice, Hales."

I backed up and left the couple standing there, Haley happy and beautiful, and Nathan completely puzzled and slightly ecstatic to have ahold of the biggest scandal this year.

            I sat in the back of the room during second hour.  I was pretty thankful for that spot today.  The chair was almost a sanctuary for me.  The school was buzzing with news that Jake Gagelski had a baby.  Everyone was whispering and giggling over such a scandal, as if I didn't notice the silence when I entered the room.  I melted into my chair; almost wishing the floor would swallow me up.  I've never been one to run away from challenges, but this was almost more than I could handle.  I suppose I should have thought of that before I had sex with Charisma.  Haley took her seat near the front of the room, but she stared back at me with a sweet look in her eye.  For a moment, I felt normal.  Only a moment. Ms. Embry walked to the front of the room and began class.  I fell into a daydream, remembering the first day I'd met Charisma.  I was barely 16, newly licensed and excited to be 'free'.  I was having some trouble in Geometry and my mom decided I needed a tutor.  She'd heard that Charisma McKay could work wonders with Math, plus no one else would know I was being tutored.  Charisma was popular in Woodbury, a cheerleader and president of her class, but she was virtually unknown here.  She was a bit shallow, but that never really bothered me.  I'd driven to Woodbury for my session and met her at the public library.  She didn't look like your typical math tutor.  She wore a short jean skirt and a pink t-shirt.  Her eyes were a crystal blue and she had black hair that came down to her waist.  She wasn't exactly exotic looking, but she was far above normal.  She smiled, revealing perfectly white teeth and I think that was when I fell in love with her.  I hadn't even spoken to her yet.  We sat at an enormous wood table in the middle of the deadly silent library.  We sat there quietly before Charisma finally broke the ice.  I pulled out my Geometry book and she started to teach me.  Bit by bit, my math assignment made sense to me.  And bit-by-bit, I fell more and more in love with Charisma McKay.  She was amazing.  I continued being tutored by her and eventually we started to date.  We went to parties together and the movies and all that normal stuff. It was perfect.  For a while.  
"Mr. Gagelski!  The Korean War was actually known as a what?"

I snapped out of my daydream and realized I'd completely missed the lecture and had no idea she was now asking us questions.  Perhaps that was my problem with my grades, not Breeze keeping me up all night.  I hadn't read the chapter and I realized all eyes were on me.  Including Haley's.  I watched her lips as she mouthed, "Police Action."

"Police Action, Ms. Embry."

She nodded, her eyes focusing on me for a few more beats.  She seemed skeptical about my knowledge on the Korean War, which was a correct feeling.  I smiled a little, and Ms. Embry moved on.  I mouthed back to Haley a thank you and I received a smile for it.  Haley was perfect.  Apparently, I have a thing for smart girls…


	5. Charisma

**_Secret_**

**_Chapter Five_**

**_Charisma_**

I didn't have basketball practice today.  I was relieved after the day I'd had.  I didn't really feel like discussing Breeze with the entire team and Whitey.  I'd talked to Lucas about it and that's all that mattered.  Lucas was my real friend on the team.  Haley was coming over today, early, to help me catch up with all the work I'd fallen behind on.  Just Haley's presence would soothe my frayed nerves.  I was looking forward to spending time with her, even if it was while using the quadratic formula.  I pulled all of my homework out of my bag.  The house was quiet.  The quiet kind of unnerved me.  I was so used to hearing Breeze; breathing, giggling, gurgling and crying at all times to enjoy it.  My aunt had agreed to take care of Breeze for a few extra hours so I could focus on the pile of homework at hand.  Haley and my homework.  I would be happier when Haley got there.  The doorbell rang, which surprised me.  Haley had gotten into the habit of just barging in everyday.  She'd been right about Breeze.  Breeze usually slept through our sessions and her coming in without ringing the doorbell prevented Breeze from waking.  Maybe Haley had just gotten a lesson on manners and decided to give it a whirl.  I was smiling by the time I reached the door; images of Haley at Cotillion making me want to crack up.  I flung open the door.

"Hales, I don't know…"

I stopped completely.  I'd been rendered speechless.  I hadn't been prepared to find Charisma on the stoop.  Now granted, I wasn't as speechless as the last time she did this, but I wasn't expecting her.  Haley would be here any minute and Charisma's shocking return was hardly going to be helpful to my learning experience.

"You were expecting someone else?"

I shrugged a bit.  "Uh, yeah.  You are on the top ten people to never come to my house.  You're right in between Britney Spears and Suddam Hussein.  So I'm pretty much expecting anyone else."

Charisma smiled a little, that warm grin that reminded me how Breeze came to be.  She did always laugh at my pathetic attempts of jokes.  I stayed in front of the door, blocking her entrance.  I wanted to keep her out of my house, out of my life.  I didn't really want any more surprises, no matter how much I loved Breeze.  Charisma seemed kind of weird to me today.  She wasn't exactly upset or even distraught.  She just seemed different.  I wanted to ask her why she was here and I didn't want to know, all combined into one paradoxical emotion.  Charisma didn't seem to know where to start.  I waited.  I was tired of waiting.  I was feeling completely anxious.

"Why are you here, Charisma?"

She averted her eyes, surprised at my bluntness, I'm sure.  She took a deep breath.

"Come on.  This can't be harder than telling me your pregnant."

Charisma shrugged, still trying to find the words.  
"I'm not sure about that.  I-I-mhmmm-I wanted to see Breeze again."

Well, Charisma was the master of blurting things out.  No opening.  No set up. Nothing but 'I want to see Breeze again.'  Charisma managed to shock me once again.  She'd seemed so definite in her decision to give me Breeze.  I didn't think she would ever want to see her again.  I always thought that if the day came that she wanted to be a part of Breeze's life, I would welcome her.  Breeze had a right to her mother.  But this sudden burst of protectiveness surged inside of me.  Charisma was flaky.  I wouldn't let her jump in and out of Breeze's life that could do more damage to her than without having a mother.

"Breeze isn't here.  She's at her baby-sitter's house."

I didn't want to give up more information, like who her baby-sitter was.  Charisma nodded.

"I guess I should have called."

I didn't say anything.  What was I supposed to say to that?  'Sure, Charisma.  Make sure you do that next time.'

Charisma didn't leave yet.  I wished she would desperately.  She stared at me expectantly as if she thought I should invite her in or tell her to come back another time.  

"You can't just appear and disappear in Breeze's life.  That's just going to confuse her.  And me."

"How do you know I would even do that?"

"Maybe the fact that you wanted to put her up for adoption.  I don't exactly trust your intentions.  If you'd given Breeze up, you wouldn't be able to see her now anyway."

"Give me a break, Jake.  What right do you have to judge me like that?"

"Every right!  I am Breeze's father.  It's my responsibility to look after her, to protect her from being hurt."

"I have-"

"Hey, Jake. I hope I'm not interrupting."

Haley was coming up the porch steps, her face clearly saying that what she'd said was a complete lie.  I tried to smile for her.

"No.  It's fine, Haley.  I was just having a quick conversation with Charisma."

Haley's mouth quirked and her eyebrows shot up adorably.  She looked like she wanted to shout out, "Charisma?!  The Charisma?!"

But, of course, she didn't.  Charisma seemed like she was sizing Haley up.  Her eyes narrowed as she introduced herself.  "I'm Charisma McKay."

"Haley James.  I'll just go on inside.  You don't have to be in any hurry, Jake."

I gave Charisma a pointed look.

"We're done.  I'll talk to you another time, Charisma."

I followed Haley inside and shut the door on a mildly heartbroken Charisma.

            As usual, Charisma distracted me from my homework.  The whole time Haley tried to explain my homework to me, I couldn't help but think about my conversation with Charisma.  I felt a little guilty.  I'd treated her kind of badly.  I'm not sure whom I was trying to protect, Breeze or me.  Maybe both of us.  I couldn't get the picture of Charisma looking so sad when I shut the door on her. I guess I could have given her a chance to talk to me, explain why she wanted to see Breeze, explain why she thought she should be able to see Breeze.  I didn't give her a chance.  I was apparently a huge fan of self-preservation.  I hated the way Charisma made me feel, sending me so off kilter.  I would never be able to focus on what Haley was telling me.  In fact, I had been so lost in thought; I hadn't even noticed that Haley had stopped talking.  She was watching me sympathetically.

"Are you going to be okay, Jake?"

"Yeah.  Of course."

"We can do this another time, you know.  I don't think we're getting much done anyways."

"No.  I want to catch up, Haley. I'm so tired of being behind."

"Okay.  Do you at least want to talk about it before we move on into the exciting world of linear equations?"

"Charisma wants to see Breeze again."  
"That's great, isn't it?"

"I don't know.  I don't trust Charisma to take care of Breeze."  
"They could be supervised visits."  
"I don't want Breeze to get hurt."  
"Breeze or you?"

"I don't know."

"It'll be good for Breeze to have a woman in her life.  Especially when she gets older.  Breeze could need her mother one day."

I knew Haley had a point.  It was probable that the little fantasy I'd played up in my head worked for me, so I didn't want anything to mess that up.  In my happy world, Haley was Breeze's mother, in every way that mattered, even if it wasn't by blood.  I'd gotten used to Haley.  She was everything I hoped Breeze would become; beautiful, smart, funny, talented, and incredible.  I think that Haley has grown to love Breeze and possibly even gotten used to us.  I liked to think of us as a make-shift family, even if it was kind of freakish that I thought of us that way.  I didn't think Breeze need Charisma.  Breeze had Haley.  But how would I tell Haley that?  Or Charisma?

"I guess."

"I know that this is tearing you up inside, Jake.  Don't let Charisma have that much power over you.  Think about letting Charisma back into Breeze's life.  It could be a trial period, and if she blows that, you could restrict her visitation."

"I guess."

"I guess.  Well, I suppose that's all I'll be able to get out of you."

"It's better than what Charisma got out of me."

Haley took my hand and squeezed it. 

"This has been a rough day for you.  I understand that.  I'm going to head on home.  I don't think we're going to get much else done here.  But if you promise to think about this, I will take you and Breeze out for a surprise this weekend."

"A surprise?"

"Yep."

"I promise, Haley James, that I will consider letting Charisma back in."  
"That is all I ask for, Jake Gigelski."

Haley picked up her bag and slid her calculator inside.  She bent over me and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't worry about this too much, Jake.  Whatever you choose, be confident in it.  It will be the right choice for your family."

She shot me a confident grin before leaving.  She was an amazing girl.  If only I could be so assured that I would make the right decision.


	6. Arrangement

**_Secret_**

**_Chapter Six_**

**_Arrangement_**

****

I stared at the phone Saturday morning, considering my options.  It had been two days since Charisma's visit and I was still trying to make a decision.  Haley's advice had been incredibly helpful and I was once again thankful that she had been sent to tutor me.  All the same, I didn't know what to decide.  Breeze was gurgling in her bassinet next to my bed, her big blue eyes staring up at me.  My heart melted every time I looked at my little girl.  I tried to imagine her life as she grew older, with or without her mother.   She would be an amazing girl; I had no doubt about that.  I didn't want her to be hurt.  She was so perfectly innocent and it was up to me to keep her safe.  If I let Charisma back in, she could be hurt.  Then again, maybe I was transferring my issues with Charisma on to Breeze.  I didn't know.  Breeze started to fuss, so I cradled her in my arms.  She was such a sweet baby.  That's when I knew I had to give Charisma a chance.  She needed a mother, her real mother.  Haley would be a wonderful mom, but I couldn't make Haley take on that responsibility.  Haley made the right choices in her life and she shouldn't have to be tied down like I was.  Or like Charisma should be.  I picked the phone up and punched in the number.  I waited as the connection rang and I heard the other end pick up.

"Hello?  This is the McKay residence."

"Hello, this is Jake.  Is Charisma home?"

The silence was deafening after I asked for her.  I was fairly sure it was her father that had answered.  Needless to say, he was not the president of my fan club.  I waited and waited.  

"I'm sorry, Jake, you can't talk to her."

"Per Charisma's instructions, or yours?"

Another pause. 

"Mine."

"Charisma came to see me the other day.  She wants to be in Breeze's life.  And I want to talk to her about it."

Another deafening silence.  Then I heard Charisma's melodic voice in the background, "Daddy?  Is that Jake your on the phone with?"

I wondered if he would lie.  He could easily hang up on me and tell Charisma it was just another annoying telemarketer.  That would be a believable reply.  Surprisingly, Mr. McKay didn't lie.  "Yes, it is."

"Daddy, give me the phone."  
"After what that boy did to you?  I don't think you need to be talking to him."

"Daddy, he has my daughter.  I want to see her.  I need to talk to her father to make that happen.  Please, Daddy."

I could almost see her lower lip protruding as she begged in the most Charisma way.  Of course, Mr. McKay would give in to her, because Charisma held him in the palm of her hand.  It must be in the blood.  I heard the phone being handed over to her and she spoke.  "Jake?"

"Hey, Charisma."

What was I supposed to say after that?  I didn't know.  I should have written a speech out or outlined the way the conversation was supposed to go.

"Jake, why are you calling?"

"I'm calling about Breeze.  You said you wanted to see her again.  I was thinking maybe we could have a trial visitation period.  You know, you can see her once a week, under supervised visits.  If I think that your intentions are good, maybe we could extend the number of visitations or maybe even let you take her for like a weekend or something."

Charisma sounded excited when she answered.  "I think that's a good idea.  That way you can start to trust me, right?  I know I hurt you…"

"I didn't call you for an apology.  You did what you thought was right at the time.  Now we have an arrangement.  If you can agree to the terms."

I sounded so professional.  Not at all like I was talking to the mother of my child, my ex-girlfriend.  Maybe I should be lawyer.  I waited for Charisma's reply.

"Okay.  When do you want to start this?"

I heard the door to my bedroom open and I glanced up to see Haley standing in the doorway.  She was holding something, though I couldn't discern what it was.

"How about tomorrow?"

"Sounds great."

"One-ish?"

"Okay.  Bye Jake."

"See you tomorrow, Charisma."

I clicked the off button and shifted Breeze to my other arm.  Haley walked on into my room and made herself comfortable on the floor.

            "What's up, Hales?"  I asked her.  I hadn't been expecting her to come today.  We usually took breaks on Fridays and Saturdays, and start up the tutoring on Sundays again.  It was our system.  She smiled warmly, her entire face lighting up.

"Well, I don't have any plans today.  Nathan's at an away basketball game and I have to work tonight, so I didn't go.  I don't have any plans for this afternoon, so I was hoping maybe you and Breeze could come out to play with me."

I returned her grin at her childlike attitude.

"That depends on what we're going to do."

"I thought we could go to the zoo."

"The zoo?"  
"Yep.  Tree Hill does have one, you know.  And I thought maybe Breeze would like to see the animals."

"Haley."

"Yes?"

"Breeze is two months old.  She doesn't know what animals are, yet."

"How do you know?  Did she say, 'Daddy, I don't know what animals are.  Will you tell me?'  No.  I don't think she did."

I laughed.  "You really want to go to the zoo.   You're just using Breeze as an excuse." 

Her eyes were sparkling as she shrugged.  "Naw.  I'm only thinking of Breeze's educational experience."

"And if I say yes?"

"I will absolutely be the happiest girl in the world.  And so will Breeze.  Because she's concerned about her educational experience too."

How could I fight logic like that?  There wasn't any way.

"All right.  Let me get her changed and put her in her coat.  We'll be down in a minute."  
Haley seemed delighted that I had accepted.  I just wanted to spend the day with her when we weren't discussing the government of England.  

            I'd discovered yet another thing I loved about Haley James.  She was so relaxed.  She didn't care what other people thought of her.  And the simplest things satisfied her, like watching the giraffes eat.  It was amazing.  Haley walked ahead of me, carrying Breeze in the carrier.  Breeze wasn't sleeping, but giggling like the happy baby she was.   Haley stopped at the petting zoo, and she knelt down by one of the goats standing at the gate.  She slowly reached her hand in and pet the fur, a grin spreading across her face.  She looked up at me, ecstatic.    
"See why I wanted to come to the zoo?  How can you not like it?"

"Well, I can't say that I've ever been really big on animals.  But you're having fun.  And Breeze is giggling, so I have no complaints."

Haley straightened, stretching her neck after doing so.  She glanced down at Breeze, who returned her look with a great big, toothless grin.  She reached into the carrier and lifted Breeze out, kissing her forehead.  Several of the parents that had taken their children to the zoo were watching us.  They probably disapproved.  They were probably thinking about how we'd thrown our life away so young and silently prayed their children were smarter than we were.  Of course, they didn't know that Haley wasn't Breeze's mother.  Of course, I didn't really care what they thought, anyways.  I pulled a camera out of Breeze's diaper bag.  I'd wanted to take a few pictures to capture Breeze's first day at the zoo.  "Smile, Haley."

Haley turned, bringing Breeze up close to her face.  Breeze's blue eyes were wide as they stared at me, and Haley's smile lit up the entire picture frame.  I snapped the shot and put the camera away. 

"Sorry.  I think it's a hazard of having the first child.  You get a little camera-happy."

"I don't mind."  She placed Breeze back in her carrier and lifted it up.  We walked to the monkeys in silence and I wondered why Haley had stopped talking.  She usually had this carefree attitude that made me feel comfortable.  She usually babbled about something, until now.  

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I heard you talking to Charisma on the phone."

"Yeah.  You were standing in the doorway."

"I heard most of the conversation, actually.  I didn't mean to eavesdrop.  I was just coming upstairs to get you and I heard you talking."  
"It's okay, Hales.  It's not like I planned on not telling you about it anyways."

She nodded.  

"I know.  I still felt guilty.  But I wanted to tell you that I think you did the right thing.  Your plans to make sure Charisma is stable are good.  And I wanted you to know."  
"I was worried I was being too hard on her.  Or that maybe I was trying to push off my hurt from Charisma on Breeze."

"I don't think you are.  I'm not saying that tomorrow will be easy.  You're going to have to give Charisma a chance.  That's going to be hard.  But just know that you have to trust in yourself as well as Charisma for this to work."

I shrugged before taking the carrier away from Haley.  Her arm looked like it was starting to get tired.  She glanced up at me.  "I'm sorry for giving you so much unsolicited advice."

"I don't mind.  I need someone to tell me what to do, because we see what happens when I make my own decisions."

She rolled her eyes.  "You get a beautiful little girl."

"And a beautiful big girl."

Haley laughed at that.  She didn't know I was being serious.


	7. Visit

**_Secret_**

**_Chapter Seven_**

**_Visit_**

            I wanted for her to come now.  It was 1:03.  I was getting incredibly impatient.  Charisma was rarely late, but maybe she was as nervous as I was.  Breeze sat in my lap, pink dress on.  She stared at me, a baby smile appearing on her face.  I hoped nothing would happen to make that smile disappear off her face.  The doorbell rang overhead and Breeze let out a sharp wail, the high-pitched noise disturbing her from her silent ecstasy.  I stood with her and went to the door where Charisma waited.  I let her in as I rocked Breeze, trying my best to make her settle down.  Charisma seemed shell-shocked from all the clamor and I realized Charisma was far from a natural at the whole mothering thing.  By that point, Haley would have had Breeze happy and giggling, not standing they're with a terrified look on her face.  I knew I shouldn't be comparing Charisma to Haley.  They were both very different people.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Charisma shrugged and raised her blue eyes to meet mine.  Breeze had those eyes.

"Do you think I should?"

"Well, I wouldn't have offered if I didn't think you should.  You know, you say you want to be in Breeze's life, but you don't seem to realize that means you have to be in contact with her."

I knew that was snide.  I was being mean to Charisma and I didn't care.  Maybe I had more issues with her than I thought.  Charisma's face displayed the hurt my words had inflicted on her and a deep wave of guilt coursed over me.  I didn't need to be cruel.  

"Listen, Charisma, I'm sorry.  Please, go ahead and hold her."

Charisma held out tentative arms for the baby.  The minute I left Breeze in Charisma's arms, she screamed.  Charisma's face showed her confusion and obliviousness at what she was supposed to do.  So much for the whole maternal bond thing.

"We just need to ease Breeze into this.  She's not used to you, Charisma.  Give her some time, okay?  You both need to adapt to each other."

Charisma started to shake her head in denial.  She handed Breeze over me, with a startled look on her face.  I recognized that look.  It was the bolt and disappear expression.  She started to edge to the door while tightening her jacket.

"I don't think I'm cut out for this, Jake."

"Give it time."

"I can't do this.  I'm sorry.  I'm just not meant to be a mother right now."

Then she did do it.  She sprinted out of the house; the door swinging in the wind that blew bitingly around my house.  Her car was started in record time; she backed out jerkily, nearly hitting the mailbox.  She sped away and there wasn't anything I could do but shut the door and make sure Breeze would still be warm after that burst of freezing air.  I held Breeze close, rocking her gently, humming a light lullaby.  I could only be thankful that Charisma had left before Breeze had gotten attached to her.  I had been right to keep them separated.  Well, I knew that now.  Charisma had just lost every privilege and second chance she'd ever receive from me and Breeze.  I would protect Breeze.  I would go along with my gut instincts from now on.

            I was amazed at how entertaining peek-a-boo can be to a child.  Place your hands over your eyes, open hands, and receive a fit of giggles.  I'm not quite sure why kids love the game so much, but I remember loving it as much as Breeze does now.  I heard light footsteps coming down the hall and I knew Haley had come to see how everything went.  I knew she'd be supportive.  She always was.  She probably had some free advice to dispense as well.

"Jake!"

"Come on in, Hales."

She appeared in the doorway, a small smile gracing her features.  Curiosity shone in her amber eyes and suddenly I wanted to kiss her.  No.  There would be no kissing.  I remember where that led me last time.  Haley walked to Breeze's crib, her hand brushing back the few curls on Breeze's head.  Haley was so gentle, so natural with my daughter.  I was so pleased that she got along with my daughter, because now anyone I date dates Breeze as well.  Not that I thought Haley and I would be dating anytime soon.

"How did it go with Charisma?'

An ironic laugh escaped from my mouth, no stopping it.

"She ran.  I let her hold Breeze.  She practically threw Breeze at me and escaped out the front door.  She'd been here for maybe five minute."

"Oh, Jake, I'm sorry."

"You have no control over it.  Nobody except Charisma does.  It's better this way. I can protect Breeze from the world for a little bit longer.  That's all I can ask for."

Haley's facial expression gave away her sympathy for me.  That was the thing about Haley.  She always managed to see past the surface and knew exactly what I was feeling.  She knew I was hurting.  No matter how hard I tried to hide it.  It was hard to be a single father.  It was of my own decisions, but it was still hard.  I definitely don't regret Breeze.  But a part of me had wanted Charisma to take responsibility for our choices, not just me.  Unfortunately, I was the only one willing to own up to my actions.  I shook my head at Haley.

"Don't feel sorry for me."

Haley slapped my arm lightly, her grin spreading.

"Don't be so full of yourself.  I feel sorry for Breeze."

We both laughed and the moment seemed perfect.  I stopped laughing as I remained halfway aware of what I was about to do.  I pulled Haley to me, wrapping my arms around her waist, and lowered my mouth onto hers.  I was kissing Haley James.  Despite all of my protests for falling in love with Haley, I had.  Haley jerked away, guilt marring that perfect moment.  Right.  She had a crush on Nathan.  I knew that.

"I've-uh-gotta go." 

Haley dashed out of my room, out the door and down the street before I could react.  Who knew Haley could run so fast?  I sighed, massaging my temples.  I'd probably messed up the best relationship I ever had.  I had pulled the bottom block from the Jenga tower.  I probably just lost Haley.


	8. Park

**_Secret_**

**_Chapter Eight_**

**_Park_**

            I was walking in the park, holding Breeze's carrier on my left side.  I was searching for that perfect spot in the park that everything going on could be seen from.  I was lost in my own world, though, only aware of myself and Breeze.  And Haley.  I hadn't seen her in three days.  She hadn't come by to tutor, she hadn't stopped by basketball practice, she hadn't even called.  The only think she had managed to do was avoid me all day at school.  Which was, of course, a feat in itself, considering we shared a best friend.  I wondered if Haley had told Lucas about the kiss.  He hadn't said anything to me, but that didn't mean the kiss was a secret.  I didn't want to bring it up to Lucas, though.  If Haley hadn't mentioned it to him, Lucas might get angry.  At me.  He was insanely protective of Haley.  I didn't want to broach our friendship's silent agreement by me pushing that kiss on Haley.  I sat down on a wooden bench that seemed to be the right spot and placed Breeze's carrier next to me.  I pulled out the picture of Haley and Breeze at the zoo.  She looked so happy in that photograph.  Content.  Relaxed.  I'd messed it all up.  It was all my fault.  It usually was.  Haley had a crush on Nathan.  It was obvious.  I was well aware of the way she felt about Nathan, even though they weren't together, and completely disregarded it.  I knew Haley didn't return my feelings.  I was so lost in my thoughts; I didn't hear the dead leaves crunching behind me.

"Jake?"

I snapped from my considerations, folding the picture I held in my hand into Breeze's blanket, trying to play it off as if I was trying to wrap Breeze up tighter.

"Haley!  Hey!  I didn't think I would see you today."

Haley shoved her hands in her coat pockets and shrugged her shoulders uncomfortably.

"I bet.  I'm sorry I was avoiding you."

"Well, I deserved it.  I'm sorry about the kiss.  I shouldn't have done it.  I know you don't feel that way about me."

Haley stepped forward and sat next to me on the bench.

"It wasn't that, Jake.  Not really.  I just didn't know what to do.  I wasn't expecting you to kiss me.  I didn't know what to do."  She reiterated.  "I had to think, Jake."

I accepted that.  I would have had to think about it, too.

"What did you come up with?"

"I starting liking Nathan when I got to know him.  He was like a lost little boy who needed my help.  But I didn't help.  No matter how sweet Nathan can be, he needs a chance to be alone and learn how to deal with his family before he learns how to deal with a new girlfriend.  I realized that a few weeks ago.  

" You already know how to deal with what life throws at you.   You're raising a beautiful baby girl.  I've become very attached to you and Breeze and I think I'm falling in love with you.  I just didn't know it until you kissed me.  Then, I had to process it."

My heart swelled, I'm sure of it.  Even if that was cheesy, it was true.  I didn't think I would get an answer like that.  I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"Being with me is going to be different than being with anyone else."

"I know."

"Breeze is part of the package."

"I hope so."

"I won't be able to go out and doing stuff with you a lot."

"I love renting movies."

"The outings I get have to be things that kids do."

"Have I mentioned how much I love Chuck E. Cheese?"

I started to laugh.  Haley was perfect.  She understood me and she understood my daughter.  What more did I need?  I reached over, brushing a few strands of Haley's auburn hair back behind her ear.  My hand trailed down her cheek before I tilted her chin up to capture her lips.  The world fell away and all that was left was me, kissing Haley, and a delighted giggle coming from a pile of pink blankets to my left.


End file.
